Hitori ni Shinaide...
by Laura Hoak-Kagey
Summary: Ran has her doubts about waiting for Shinichi...two ladies show her possible futures...what does she see?
1. Default Chapter

Hitori ni Shinaide Chap 1 First and foremost, disclaimer. Meitantei Conan belongs to Aoyama Gosho, Shogakukan (Shonen Sunday) and Movic, not me. I'm just a fan writing because I want to. :) 

Alright, what can I say, Mouri Ran is one of my favorite characters, and we don't see enough of what she thinks and feels. So...that's where this comes in. Don't get me wrong, I love Shin'ichi and Heiji too, but... 

Because I'm lazy, Shin'ichi = Shinichi. 

Anyway, the title means "Please don't leave me by myself..." and is actually a quote from Volume 23. Also, it's all from Ran's point of view, in case you were wondering. The story begins at the end of File 6 in Volume 33. (That's at the end of the "Bloody Valentine" story arc.) Enjoy! 

**Hitori ni Shinaide...   
Chapter One**   
by Laura Hoak-Kagey

As Ran stared at the carefully wrapped box containing her homemade chocolate, tears fell from her eyes. She had told herself so many times not to let it bother her. She needed to be strong, just like everyone kept telling her she was. Where were the tears coming from? 

[Stop it, Ran. Don't cry. He's busy, and you know it. You've been influenced by detectives almost your whole life. There are things you just can't change...] 

Yet, the tears continued to fall. Ran wiped the tears off her face, and try to calm herself down. Shinichi was busy, and even if his excuses seemed a little farfetched, well, what could she do? Everytime she tried to bring the topic up, he would abruptly change the subject. Maybe solving cases and becoming famous were more important than her. 

Ran sighed. She had pondered these thoughts so many times, and the result was always the same; she was left with no answer at all. Exhausted from crying, Ran lay down and stretched out on the couch in her father's office. She closed her eyes, and within minutes was fast asleep. 

@>-;--- 

"Please don't leave me by myself..." 

"No! I don't want to hear it...I don't want to hear another excuse..." 

"He said someday, somehow, even if it kills him, he'll return. Until then, he said he wants you to wait for him..." 

"Shinichi...when it comes to me..." 

"Yeah, you're a big fool, just like me. It's hard but, it's like something felt so right then..." 

::Shinichi was pressing his forehead against hers, checking for a fever, causing her to blush.:: 

[Sonoko...I couldn't write his name...because I won't be able to tell his feelings if I did give it to him...Really...even though I used to be glad I was strong about all of this...] 

Ran felt as if she was floating. There were flashes of memories that kept passing in front of her face, just as if they were TV screens broadcasting events from her past. Not just any memories, but all of the memories had to do with Shinichi... 

"Where am I?" Ran said to herself, as the re-enacted memories vanished from sight. Where ever she was, it was definitely not a place she had been before. The sky above her was filled with stars, and when she looked below her feet, a grass field materialized out of nowhere. It was a situation Ran had only imagined to happen in stories. Those kind of things just didn't happen in real life. 

Setting her feet on the ground, Ran took a better look around her. The field of grass reached beyond her field of vision, and seemed to be the only thing, besides the stars, that painted the setting around her. No matter which way she looked, there was only grass. Then, in the same manner as the ground had appeared before, to her left two roses appeared. 

Ran crouched down to get a better look at the them. One was a silvery white while the other was a deep, dark red. Out of curiousity, Ran went to touch the flowers, but the instant her fingers came in contact with the petals, a bright light exploded from them. 

After having been thrown back by an invisible force, Ran opened her eyes. Her jaw dropped and she sat gaping at what lay before her eyes. 

Two women stood before her. One was dressed in a simple, spagetti strap red dress with an empire waist, while the other woman was wearing the exact same dress except that the color was white. 

"Wh-who are you?" Even though their faces seemed familiar somehow, Ran couldn't recall having met these two ladies before. 

The lady in the silvery white dress spoke in a gentle yet content voice. "Ran, we've come to help you. We know what kind of problems you've been trying to deal with by yourself." 

Next, the lady in the crimson red dress took her turn to speak in a somewhat sad sounding voice. "About Shinichi...you must believe this when I say that we are you, from two different futures." 

Ran didn't believe her ears. She managed to stand up again before giving her reply. "M-me? Two futures? What...? Is this some kind of strange joke?" 

Giving Ran a gentle smile, the white-dressed woman answered her question. "No, this isn't a joke. We can prove it to you too. These last few days, you've been thinking a lot about Shinichi." 

As if they were the same person, the red-dressed woman continued the explanation. "And not the usual thoughts and fantasies about him either. You've been considering if you should move on with your feelings or not." 

"You're a sensitive person, and you need someone near you. Right now, Shinichi isn't able to do this." 

"And he hasn't even mentioned how he feels about you, which makes you wonder even more. Especially since you've given him all kinds of hints about your feelings, but anytime you try to turn the conversation towards his feelings to you, something always suddenly comes up." 

And then together the pair said, "Right?" 

Ran had shut her mouth, but she was still staring blankly at the two women. "How do you know that? I haven't even told Sonoko about this, or Kazuha." 

The pair sighed in unison. 

"It's as we said, we are you." 

"And if you believe that, we're here to show what could happen. There are two roads to choose from, and we represent both of those futures." 

Ran interrupted their offer by waving her hands in front of her in disbelief. "Wait, wait. Isn't there some rule against all of this? Knowing your future and things like that? This has to be a dream..." 

The silvery, older Ran spoke. "You're right, this is a dream. But, since we could only help you this way, we had to come to you in your dream." 

"We'll only ask you one more time. Do you want our help? If not, we won't bother trying to convince you any more." 

Ran stood there, thinking. If they were right, and they were her future selves...it couldn't hurt to see what the two futures held. They had been right about her trying to decide what to do about Shinichi. Maybe seeing the futures could help her sort things out. 

"Well, I'm not saying I completely believe you, but yes, I'll take your offer of help. What'll we do from here?" 

"That's completely up to you, dear." The silvery woman offered her hand in front of her as she said, "Do you want to see your future if you wait?" 

It was the crimson woman's turn to offer her hand. "Or if you don't wait?" 

-----------   
Finding the quotes took the longest...all of Ran's "memories" are taken from the manga. :) 

Anyway, this turned into a chapter fanfic. Originally I had planned to write a short fic...now I have to write this and my Inuyasha fanfic at the same time...sigh, good thing I like writing, eh? 

As always, comments are appreciated. :) And bear with my grammar...my English grammar has gone downhill this last year in Japan...Bye!   
July 2001 


	2. Matanakattara...

HnS: Matanakattara... Alrighty, Conan doesn't belong to me, but to Aoyama Gosho and all respected companies. I'm just borrowing the created storyline and characters. :) 

For this chapter... the "[dadada]" are used for when the future Ran "talks" in Ran's head. The "*dadada*" are used for the 17 year old Ran's conversation with her future self or for her own thoughts. Okay, I hope? 

Names are in Japanese name order, last name first. Example, for my name would be: Hoak-Kagey Laura. It just feels more "Japanese" or something. :) 

Also, "NAME-chan" appears in this chapter. "-chan" is used for children or close friends. It's kind of a sweet, caring, cute thing to use... 

**Hitori ni Shinaide...   
Chapter Two: Matanakattara... (If she didn't wait...)**   
By Laura Hoak-Kagey

Ran glanced from the silvery white-dressed woman to the crimson red-dressed woman. One would show her the future if she waited for Shinichi. The other would show her the future if she didn't want for Shinichi. 

With a determined face, Ran placed her hand in the crimson dressed woman's hand. Well, she had been thinking of giving up on Shinichi lately anyways, and this way she would be able to see if things really did turn out better for her or not. 

The second Ran placed her hand in the other woman's, a crimson light slowly started to engulf them. The last thing Ran heard before the surroundings around her turned completely crimson was the voice of the silvery woman. 

"I'll be waiting for you..." 

@>-;--- 

Ran opened her eyes to find herself in what seemed to be present day Tokyo. Just as she looked to her side to ask the woman where they were, Ran heard a voice in her head. 

[No, I'm not next to you. If you have questions, you can ask me in your head, and I will answer the same way. But this I will tell you, no one can see or hear you in this time. You're only a shadow. This time is ten years after your time, making you nearly 28 years old.] 

*But...where are we now? This looks like an elementary school in front of me.* 

[You're right. But just be patient. I'm going to leave the discovering about your future to you for a bit. Let me know when you're finished here.] 

Rather than try to ask all of her questions to her future self, Ran decided to do just what her other self had told her, find out about her future. If she was standing in front of an elementary school, there had to be a reason for it. 

Just as Ran was about to head for the schoolyard, the bell signaling school was out, rang. Children started running out of the building, and all around Ran, parents were starting to gather. 

"Mama! You came!" 

Ran saw a little boy with medium brown hair and green eyes running towards her. She looked over her shoulder to see an older version of herself standing there. She was older...and...her older self looked tired and a bit sad, but as the little boy came closer, her older self's eyes started to light up with happiness. 

"Yuuichi! Of course I would!" Ran's older self crouched down to a child's height, and opened her arms wide. Yuuichi jumped into them. "Yuu-chan! How'd school go?" 

Yuuichi stepped away from his mother to answer her. "Well, me and Nami kinda were too loud, but..." 

"Kudou Nami?" 

Yuuichi shook his head. "But don't worry mama! I didn't do anything bad!" 

A smile reappeared on the older Ran's face. "Okay, I'll believe you this time. Anyways, let's go home, okay? Your papa's coming home early to have dinner with us today." 

As Yuuichi put his hand in his mother's, they began to walk home. 

*My...son? And Kudou Nami? Is that Shinichi's daughter? I know Kudou isn't a rare name, but I can't help but wonder....* 

Ran was about ready to ask the crimson woman a question when she noticed a familar woman start to make her way towards the school. The woman had blonde hair and reminded her of...Ai-chan? 

The blonde woman searched the crowds until her face showed that she had found who she was looking for. She made her way towards a little girl. "Nami-chan!" 

A little girl with light brown hair and blue eyes looked towards the voice. The girl's face lit up slightly. 

"Mama! You came! Usually it's papa who comes..." 

The blonde haired woman took the little girl's hand, and said in a gentle voice, "Well, your father's busy. You know how busy he can be because he's a famous detective. Besides, it's been a while since I've come to pick you up. How about I buy you some ice cream on the way home?" 

Nami nodded, but her face told Ran that this girl had hoped her papa would've come to get her. 

After the pair had walked beyond her sight, Ran wondered who that lady was. All the clues seemed to tell her that she was Shinichi's wife, but why was Ran convinced that that lady was the same girl as the Haibara Ai she knew in her time? 

[All I can tell you is that she has a relation to the person you mentioned. Don't ask the details about it, but she is Shinichi's wife, and the little girl called Nami is their daughter. But now, it's time to take you to your future house. There is still more to see...] 

A crimson light once more surrounded Ran. 

@>-;---- 

Once the light had subsided, Ran could see that she stood in front of a house. She glanced to the nameplate and saw the Japanese characters for "Yamazaki" engraved into marble. 

"Yamazaki? Yamazaki Ran...I suppose it sounds okay." Rather than stand there and contemplate whether the name suited her or not, Ran started for the house. When she reached the door, she hesitated. 

[Go ahead, walk through it. I told you that you were a shadow...] 

"Yeah, but..." But since everything else Ran had been told had held true, she decided to believe the crimson woman. Taking a breath and closing her eyes, Ran headed for the door. To her surprise, she found herself on the other side, inside the house. Well, this was certainly turning out to be the strangest dream she had had so far in her life... 

Ran walked from the entrance way into what was the dining area. The table was set with dishes and a dinner that looked to have taken a long time to prepare. Ran saw her older self leaning against a wall in the kitchen, with her arms folded across her chest. 

*Why...* 

At that instant the phone rang. Ran moved closer to the older woman so she could hear was on the other side. 

"Hello. Yamazaki residence." 

"Ran? It's me. I called to let you know that I can't make it home early tonight. Sorry." 

"Geez, Keiichi, again? Which is more important? Your family or your work? You should know that Yuu-chan's been waiting for you since I brought him home from school. I know you're busy, but your son misses you. Or haven't you noticed." The older Ran's voice was full of disappointment with a touch of anger. 

"Ran, I can't help it. If you want a place to live and money to provide for Yuuichi, then you need to understand that I have to work when they ask me. The money you make from your part-time job just isn't enough. It's not like I don't want to see my son...and because I probably won't get home until late, you don't have to wait up for me." 

"Fine! I won't! You don't even need to bother coming home!" And she slammed the phone down. 

Ran looked at the older woman and could tell that she had tears forming in her eyes. Was this really the future she had made for herself without Shinichi? What had happened to all of her strong will? Her thoughts were interrupted by Yamazaki Ran's random comments. 

"Why the hell did I ever marry him? I know, he used to be such a nice guy...maybe it was because I was lonely? Why didn't I realize that I had only fooled myself into love...if it wasn't for Yuuichi..." She wiped the tears from her eyes before they slid down her face. 

"Oh well. I suppose I should tell Yuu-chan that it's dinner for two again..." 

Before heading for the living room, the older woman whispered one more thing. "A big mistake, wasn't it Shinichi? You at least cared about people's feeling when you were away..." 

After the woman had left, Ran stood still looking at the doorway her older self had just passed through. 

*She looks so sad...* 

[That's because she is. Yamazaki Keiichi has been working late more and more often, and never finds time with his family. Ever since Yuuichi was born, he started acting differently. Maybe he didn't want to be a father, maybe company ambition became more important, or maybe he realized he rushed into marriage. I don't know because he never tells me anything...] 

Ran then realized why the crimson dressed, older version of herself had looked so sad when they had first met. She was the same person who was now telling her son that his father couldn't come home for dinner. 

*Why do you put up with it?* 

[Sigh. Sometimes I ask myself the same question...anyways, there is one more place you need to go.] 

Although Ran wasn't completely used to it, she took the coming of the crimson light with less of a surprise this time around. 

@>-;--- 

The house Ran was now standing in front of was all too familiar to her. She didn't even need to glance at the nameplate to know that this was Kudou Shinichi's house. 

^^^^^^^   
Alright, and no, I'm not a big Shinichi x Ai fan, but, well, there had to be an alternative future, right? 

And if you can figure out the connection between Ran and the last name "Yamazaki" you get a cookie. :) 

Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!   
July 2001 


	3. Nikki no Himitsu

HnS Nikki no Himitsu

Yep, the disclaimer. Meitantei Conan belongs to Aoyama Gosho, Shogakukan (Shonen Sunday) and Movic. I don't think I'm creative enough to have come up with it all in the first place. :) 

A note..."Oku-sama" means either "Wife" or "Lady of the house" in English. "Oku-san" is used more often, but means the same thing. That's because the "-sama" part is more formal. It's also used by the employees/servants of a house, say like the cook, for the wife instead of her name. If that makes sense... 

**Hitori ni Shinaide...   
Chapter Three: Nikki no Himitsu (Secret of the Journal)**   
By Laura Hoak-Kagey

Ran stood in front of the Kudou's house. 

Her curiousity was so great that she didn't even wait for a comment from the crimson lady before she started towards the door. She had seen her life, now Ran wanted to see Shinichi's life. 

After passing through the door, since Ran knew Shinichi's house quite well, she headed for the main living room and kitchen area. In the past this was where everyone usually spend their time together. Most of the other rooms in the house were hardly ever used or if they were, they were used for guests. 

Ran reached the living room to find the same little girl she had seen before sitting on the floor in front of the TV. 

"Well, if Nami-chan's here, then where are her parents...?" Ran asked herself. 

She turned towards the kitchen, and went through the doorway. Ran was a little surprised to see a strange person just finish making dinner. Well, if both of the adults were busy, then someone had to make it, right? 

The lady cook wiped her hands on a towel, and went through a different door than the one Ran had come through. Ran followed her, and they were soon in the room that used to be Shinichi's father's office. It wasn't his any longer, and the blonde haired woman that looked like Ai sat at a computer, absorbed in whatever it was displaying. 

"Oku-sama, dinner is finished." 

"Thanks Chieko. I'll be there in a second. Would you tell Nami as well?" 

"Yes ma'am." Chieko then exited the room. 

Slightly interested in what the computer was displaying, Ran decided to not follow Chieko but rather look over Shinichi's wife's shoulder. After she did so, Ran was disappointed to find a bunch of scientific terms and symbols filling the screen. Science didn't interest Ran that much, and she didn't always understand why certain equations worked a certain way. 

The woman in front of her saved what she was working on and then stood up. She headed for the same door Chieko had passed through a few minutes ago. Ran decided to follow her. 

They both reached the dining area, where Nami was already sitting, waiting to eat. 

"Hey, mama, do ya think papa'll come home soon?" 

"Well, he should, but I'm not sure. So your food doesn't get cold, you can start eating now." 

Just as Nami was about to say something else, everyone suddenly heard the front door shut, and running footsteps echo down the hall. Shinichi burst through the door. 

"Sorry...I'm...late." He was slightly out of breath from running all the way from the train station. 

He walked over to Nami, and ruffled her hair. "How's my little darling?" 

Nami's face was filled with a big grin. "Papa! You made it for dinner!" 

"Of course, Nami-chan! I couldn't let you and your Mom eat all of the good food Chieko made, now could I?" 

After giving one of his trademark grins, Shinichi sat in the seat between his daughter and his wife. "Hey, Shiho. Sorry I'm late. The case I had to solve today was not exactly easy...and you know how there are so many stupid formalities, such as chatting with this person and that person in the police department..." 

"It's okay Shinichi. You haven't failed to miss a dinner in a long time, so I had confidence you'd make it this time too." Although Shiho wasn't exactly the type of person to smile very often, she had a slight smile on her face at the moment. 

Ran had just stood there the whole time the Kudou family had been talking. So, Shinichi was married to a lady named Shiho, he was a detective, and they had a daughter named Nami. Even though the family looked content enough, Ran had some kind of feeling that told her that Shiho was a kind of reserved person. No matter if it was true or not, the Kudou family seemed happy enough. 

*So, Shinichi turns out happy anyway. But would could I expect? He never really told me he cared for me in that way, and maybe that's why he avoided the subject so much.* 

Ran sighed. She wanted to leave now. 

[Wait, there is one more thing here you should see. Go to Shinichi's old bedroom, and walk through the wall to the left of the doorway. There is a secret room there, and when you get there, I'll tell you what to look for.] 

Not knowing what else to do, Ran listened to the crimson woman. She went up the stairs and down the hall until she reached Shinichi's old room. She entered the room. The room was exceedingly bare, and not at all warm like it had been when Shinichi had occupied it. 

Remembering what she had been told, Ran went through the wall to the left of the door. Because there was a small window, Ran could see inside of the room. The room was full of pictures, a desk, a chair and a filing cabinet. Before Ran could even take a look at the pictures on the wall, she heard the crimson lady again. 

[Ran, in this room is something I think you should see. Me, you, Us in this time have a long time before we find out what's here, but I'm showing because I think it's something you need to know aobut Shinichi. Something he's never had the chance to talk to you about. Before even looking at any of the pictures, I want you to open the journal on the desk in front of you. Whether you read it or not is up to you.] 

A bit puzzled, Ran sat down in the chair and opened the journal. The only words on the first page were written in the center of the page and said, "To the girl who gave me more of her patience than she ever should have..." 

"Patience? No...he can't be talking about me?" 

Guessing from the silence in her head, the crimson lady was leaving it up to her to decide what to do. After debating about it for 30 seconds, Ran turned the page. She began to read the first paragraph... 

"Yes, this is for you, Ran. Someday I hope to give this to you, but I'm not sure when. I know you've waited for me for so long...and I've even made you cry because of my absence. Someday I hope to be able to tell you why I had to put you through all of that. But that one secret I want you to hear from my mouth rather than from me writing it out. But something I want to say before anything else is this: After I had no choice but to be away from you for so long I realized you were the most important person in my life, and the person I would miss the most if you were gone..." 

Ran stopped reading at that point. "Shinichi...why didn't you tell me? You stupid..." 

Looking at the date at the top, Ran saw that it was about three months after Shinichi had first gone away, or disappeared as she believed. Flipping through the pages she saw the dates becoming farther and farther apart. Towards the end she saw blank pages. Ran turned to the last entry before the blank, white pages started. 

"Ran, I still think about you and wonder why you choose the way you did. I can't lie and say my life is miserable. I love my daughter Nami, and she's become the most important thing in my life. As for Shiho, well, we're still comfortable with each other, and that's a good thing. I think she loves me, and even though I care for her, she knows I've never gotten over a certain somebody. Anyways, I haven't heard from you in a while...I could easily look you up, and find out what I wanted, but I'd rather have you come to me...I'm not sure what else I should say...I still miss you, and another Happy Birthday from me to you. Take care..." 

Ran felt her throat tighten a bit as she read the last entry. Even though they seemed so happy downstairs, he still missed her? Why didn't her future self keep in touch with him? Did her future self even have the faintest idea, at this time? 

[No, I did not. Shinichi sent me this journal on my 37th birthday, 20 years after I decided not to believe his excuses any longer, and moved on with my life. Did I regret it? Most of the time. Do I become happy? Well, that you'll have to figure out on your own. Put yourself in my shoes, and after receiving this, what would you do? I've shown you enough, and now it's time to take you back to the grass field.] 

Ran said nothing. But before the crimson light came for the last time, she saw that the room was filled with pictures of her and him, and of his daughter Nami. Those dearest to him, she guessed... 

@>-;---- 

Ran slowly opened her eyes to find the woman in the silvery dress standing in front of her. 

As she offered her hand, she said, "Are you ready dear?" 

Still trying to sort everything she had found out with the crimson lady, Ran merely shook her head and placed her hand in the silverly woman's. 

This time it was a silver light that surrounded the pair. 

----------   
Well, then. I tried to put Shiho in character...I can't see her getting all soft and all that... 

Thanks to all who have been giving me comments! It's encouraging and has made me feel like writing more quickly! That's about it this time around, and bye-bye!   
July 2001 


	4. Natsu Matsuri

HnS 4: Natsu Matsuri Well, part of the idea of this chapter came from me experiencing my first "Natsu Matsuri", aka Summer Festival, in Japan. And I really did play with some little girls there, so I suppose I can relate. :) 

Yes, Conan does not belong to me, but to Aoyama Gosho, Shogakukan (Shonen Sunday) and Movic. 

Remember, the 17 year old Ran uses *thought* and the older version of herself uses [thought]. 

**Hitori ni Shinaide...   
Chapter Four: Natsu Matsuri (Summer Festival)**   
By Laura Hoak-Kagey

When Ran opened her eyes this time she found herself standing in the middle of a street that was filled with various booths and stands. It looked like a Japanese summer festival... 

*Where are we this time?* 

[This is your future. All of the same rules apply as did when you visited your other possible future. I'd rather let you discover things for yourself instead of me telling you...but if you have any problems, I'll come back to help you out. Until then...] 

*Wait...* 

But Ran knew that the silvery lady was gone already. She sighed, and decided she should start looking around. If she was here, then most likely her future self and/or Shinichi's future self was here as well. 

Ran had passed a few food stands of okonomiyaki, yakitori and yakisoba before she heard a little girl squeal in delight. 

"Papa! Shinji! Look! I got one!" 

Ran walked to get a closer look. The girl looked to be about five, and was wearing a darling yukata (summer kimono) with bursts of fireworks on it. 

A man wearing a male yukata, her father Ran concluded, had his back to her, but was guiding the little girl's hands towards a plastic bag filled with water. "Hurry Misaki! If you wait too long, the fish won't make it..." 

*That voice...could it be?* 

Ran walked to the side of the goldfish-catching booth in order to get a look at the man from the front. Once Ran saw the man's face, she knew who he was. It was an older version of Shinichi. If Shinichi was here, then that meant she had to be here with him. If they were still together, which Ran hoped to be true. 

After the man running the stand had tied a string at the top of the plastic bag, he handed it to Misaki. "There you go, little girl." 

"Thanks!" After she had taken the goldfish, her eyes lit up even more. But it wasn't long before the little boy next to her started to complain. 

"Papa! I wanna fishy too! I keep trying, but I can't do it." He put his bottom lip out a bit, in a pout. 

"Just leave it to your papa, and I'll get a fishy for ya too, alright Shinji?" Shinichi gave not exactly a grin, but a warm smile to his youngest child. 

"Really Papa? You'll get me a fishy?" 

Shinichi ruffled Shinji's hair. "Of course." Shinichi paid the man running the stand, took his little fish scoop of wire and paper, and bent down to the little pond-like box which held the fish. "Alright...help me decide which one Shinji. I can't do this by myself..." 

Ran tried not to laugh. Shinichi was being so...so father-like. Which meant he was being sillier than she had ever seen since they were children themselves. 

*But...if Shinichi's here, why am I not here?* 

She decided that all she could do was follow the trio. At some point she would find out who Shinichi's wife was. 

Ran spent the next half an hour following them. It was entertaining to watch Shinichi take Misaki and Shinji to booth after booth, trying to win them prizes and make the two children laugh whenever they couldn't win anything. Finally, after stopping at a crepe booth, they went to a nearby bridge, and sat down on the raised curb of the sidewalk. 

"After you finish eating your crepes, we'll set off some fireworks until the big ones come. Does that sound good?" 

The siblings said together, "Yeah!" 

The two children quickly devoured their crepes, and anxiously waited for their father to start giving them fireworks. After Shinichi had given each of the two children a sparkler, he started to light one for himself when Misaki spoke up. 

"I wish mama could've come." She continued to stare into the bright light of the firework, never looking away from it to her father's face. 

"Misaki, we talked about this before. Mama needs to rest. You know she would've come if she could have." Shinichi's face had become solemn while he had said these words. 

Since Ran didn't have exact proof as to who his wife was, she tried not to worry too much. Rather than try to contemplate it all, Ran waited to see what would be said next. However, at that moment the silvery lady decided to speak to Ran. 

[Ran, since it would take a lot of time otherwise, I'm going to take you to Shinichi's house.] 

This time, the somewhat soothing silver light didn't come, but instead the surroundings around Ran shifted and then changed. When everything was still again, Ran was standing in front of Shinichi's house. 

*Well, I suppose I should enter it...* 

Ran started for the house and within a minute she was standing in the entrance hallway. She noticed the little geta (Japanese style sandals) on the floor, and surmised that Shinichi, Misaki and Shinji must have come home ahead of her. 

She headed up the stairs. On the second floor of Shinichi's house was where the rooms used as bedrooms were at. Ran just barely reached the top of the stairs when she saw Shinichi come out of one of the rooms. 

"Good night kiddies." Shinichi quietly shut the door and sighed. 

He sure looks tired, Ran observed. Shinichi's face told her that something was occupying his mind, but she wasn't sure what. 

Shinichi started down the hall, and went into the room Ran remembered as his parents bedroom. She followed him, but the door shut in her face. 

*Lucky thing I can go through doors...though if this is Shinichi's parents room from before, I would guess that it would be his now. Stepping through this door will show me who his wife is...* 

Ran took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and stepped through the door. After a few seconds she finally got the courage to open her eyes. She could see a woman lying in the bed, with Shinichi at her side. 

"Shinichi...you're back? How'd it go? I'm sure Misaki and Shinji had a good time." It was the woman from the bed who had spoken. 

Ran stepped forward to find out who was in the bed, but her question was answered with the words Shinichi said next. 

"Of course they had a good time. But they wanted you to be there too, Ran. Don't ever think that they didn't want you there, okay?" 

Ran. So it was her that was the woman in the bed. But why...? Ran hoped that she'd be able to find out from the pair's conversation. Although Ran did find it strange that the older version of herself had a blanket on, with lots of pillows surrounding her as well. It was summer... 

The older Ran in the bed gave a weak smile. "Don't worry, I don't. If I could just get out of this bed..." 

"You know better." Shinichi curtly answered. Though his expression softened quickly. "You know what the doctor said. Shinji should have been the last child you had. Carrying this third child to term is dangerous for your health, and I don't want anything to happen to you. You have to follow the orders of bedrest for all of our sake." Shinichi squeezed his wife's hand tightly. 

*Third child...? So that's why she can't get out of bed!* 

Ran moved forward to get a closer look at her future self. Even though Ran could tell that this lady was having a hard time carrying out her bedrest, she look content and even radiant despite her condition. 

But she couldn't do anything but smile at the way the married couple were looking at each other. There was so many loving and caring emotions in their faces. 

*I hope she turns out alright...* 

[This is as far as I can show you. But do listen to this. A beautiful little girl named Eriko strongly resembles the grandmother she was named after...] 

Ran noticed a brief pause, but soon she heard both voices of her older selves inside her head. 

[Although it may not have helped you, we have shown you your futures. Although there is no easy way to get to a future, nor is there a way to escape all sadness and pain, but we hope you realize how different something can become with the outcome of one decision...] 

Only a split second passed between the voices ceasing and a swirling white and red light encompassing Ran. She felt as if she were falling from a great height; a darkness filled her vision. 

*~*~*   
Alright, there is one more chapter after this, to tie it all up. But let me know what you think please! 

Oh, and about the names so far. Here is why I picked them (previous chapter too...)   
Misaki--means "Beautiful bloom" and anyone would want their child to be one. :)   
Shinji--- A combination of Shin'ichi and Heiji   
Eriko--explained, but named after Eri, Ran's mother   
Nami--the meaning is "wave" but I picked it because I like Nami from One Piece :)   
Yuuichi--Well, I wanted a name with the "ichi" part of Shin'ichi's name, and I had a little boy named Yuuichi in one of my classes I taught before   
Yamazaki Keiichi---Yamazaki is the last name of Ran's Seiyuu, and I took Keiichi from Ah! Megami-sama! :)   
Chieko---well...I've heard the name before, and was the first to come to mind 

One last note. All the things mentioned at the Summer Festival are true things you do at a Japanese Summer Festival.... 

July/August 2001 


	5. Eranda Michi

HnS Chapter 5 Hi-hi to all! Well, this is the last chapter of this fic...and what can I say, seeing as I planned it to be a short fic in the beginning, that's changed a bit, hasn't it? 

Anyway, Meitantei Conan doesn't belong to me but to Aoyama Gosho and all those other people who publish and animate this wonderful manga/anime. 

**Hitori ni Shinaide...   
Chapter Five: Eranda Michi (The Choosen Path)**   
By Laura Hoak-Kagey

Ran opened her eyes this time to find herself lying on the couch in her father's office. When had she fallen asleep? And then Ran remembered her dream. 

*Shinichi...what'll I do about him???* 

It was then that Ran noticed someone had covered her with her coat. She knew that her father was still out, and there was no sign of Conan. Then who...? 

Ran glanced at the clock on her cell phone, and couldn't believe what time it was! But she was even more startled by the little icon that told her that someone had sent her an email. She opened the email and was surprised to see a picture of herself asleep. After her initial shock resided, she read the email: 

Your sleeping face.   
Detective Kid 

No sooner had Ran read the email than her cell phone rang. 

"Yes?" 

"Good evening. This is the Detective Kid." 

"Shi-Shinichi?...You were here?" 

"Yeah. Until just a bit ago." 

"If you have enough time to do stupid, silly little things then it would have been nice if you had woken me up!" 

"Sorry, sorry. It was because you were drooling and looked like you were sleeping so peacefully." 

"Drool?" Ran was feeling a bit embarrassed now. Shinichi had seen her drool? He sure was a charmer with words, wasn't he? 

"Oh, and while I was waiting for you to wake up I got a little hungry...I ate it all, the chocolate that was on top of the table." 

"Whaaat?" He ate her chocolate? She had made it for him originally, but she hadn't decided yet if she was going to give it to him or not. Just like she needed to decided if she was going to wait for him or not... 

"But, it was different than I expected. The peach shaped chocolate..." 

"Peach shaped chocolate?" Peach? It was suppose to have been a heart... 

"It didn't taste at all like peach, but it tasted REALLY good." 

Ran felt a blush touch her cheeks when she heard his words. "R-really?" 

"Of all the ones I've ever had, it's the best I've ever tasted! Where'd you buy it at?" 

"No! I'm not gonna tell you! It's a place only I know...because it's a special store. But, Shinichi, isn't Detective Kid a little impersonal?" 

"Ah, well..." 

Ran then decided that the answer to her silly question wasn't as important as something she felt she needed to say. "Anyways, Shinichi, that doesn't matter. Because I slept so late, I need to go. But just to let you know, it wasn't a peach shaped chocolate, it was a heart! Bye!" 

She heard a silence before she cut off the phone. The blush remained on her cheeks, and she wondered just what Shinichi's reaction had been to that remark! Kazuha and Sonoko would have been proud of her for having gathered the courage to say that! 

Ran took one last look at the picture and email Shinich had sent before putting her cell phone into the pocket of her skirt. Ran knelt to pick up the packaging that had held her chocolate. As she gathered it, and crunched the tissue paper into a little ball, Ran began to remember the events that had happened in her dream. But, the longer she remained awake, the fainter the dream became. 

Ran took the garbage to trash can, put it in, and stood up straight. "Well, Shinichi, maybe you do care for me...but since you took the trouble to come see me, even if I was asleep, and say such good things about my homemade chocolate, even if I don't know for sure, I can wait a bit longer. You big, stupid reasoning fool!" 

Ran heard a door close, and turned around. Conan stood there. 

"I'm home." 

"Conan-kun! Sorry, I don't have dinner done yet! I overslept, and...other stuff got in the way. Just give me a minute, okay?" 

"No problem, Ran-neechan." 

Ran started for the kitchen, and as she dreamed about being Shinichi's wife, she hummed to herself. Because her head was filled with thoughts of Shinichi she didn't notice Conan follow her into the kitchen, with a smile on his slightly flushed face. 

============   
Well, that's it! And yes, Ran's whole dream took place in that nap she had on the couch. (Volume 33, end of File 6) I thought the whole thing fit since she was crying and doubting about giving the chocolate to Shinichi before she went to sleep, and then she did so well afterwards. For Ran and Shinichi's phone conversation, all but the last three sentences Ran said are translated from the manga. But I just had to add my part. :) 

Hopefully you let me know what you think! And it's been fun writing this one, and I plan to think of something else to write AFTER I finish my Inuyasha fanfic...ja ne!   
August 2001


End file.
